Saturday, June 2, 2018

CME: Civil Marriage Exam

Which daughter of yours is eldest -the black one or the fair one -asked a whale like lady to my mom. We were on visit to a funeral in our village. My elder sister was fair genetically similar to my mom and I was dark genetically similar to my dad by skin-membrane and intellectually complementary to my mom. The distributions of these traits were quite evident, if Genetic stats are to be calculated. However the question quite weird for the current occasion, my mum responded "the girl with curly hair is eldest" and winked at me. I chuckled

This catastrophe hit her eyes which got squeezed and with collapsed jaw she exclaimed, oh!!  The black one, than with a pause continued, actually we are looking for your fair girl for a marriage alliance, if you agree we would proceed further, she said giving a blissful glance to my sister. In return my sister gave a twisted nose look. Mum said “But how could we proceed? She is the youngest. We could wait until your black girl gets married" voluminous lady both in talk and fatty acid was not ready to leave without a reward. Well how’s the groom? My mom inquired. Boastfully she narrated well!  He is an engineer started working with L& T this year and drawing handsome salary. No No you got me wrong my Mom interrupted, by appearance, is he black or fair?  Well he is black said the lady. Now there my mum jumps down her throat ready for a fanciful reply. I never doubt my mum brain, the lighting speed it functions. Hummm ....then why I should give my fair daughter to him? Well we will not give any of our daughters to him my mom voice turned comical, logic right! We both sisters could not stop laughing.The roly-poly lady tapped her foot and paced away


The two words FAIR and DARK are extensively exercised in the dictionary of Northern plains comparatively to Deccan plateau of India

Do I really have to do this? I whispered to my sister. Of course you have to, they will be soon arriving! She said giving me stern look. I got up and pulled out the purple color and only dress out of my luggage to get ready for a matrimony proposal from my uncle's side on the chilling winter days. What’s this color? Couldn’t you find a better one!  My sister was loud “you look dark in this color’, her eyes filled with worry. I am dark for
god sake! And no external color could make me look fairer I smirk. Dad came rushing inside making a wry face said what’s this fuss all about? Let her wear what she wishes. I teased my sister and she growled, "all because of your pampering dad, she does not give an ear to anyone, you rotten rod," and pulled my hair. Do not ruin my hair; I'm a princess today I giggled. I know wild cat princess mocked my elder brother and we all giggled together.

Soon my aunt sitting beside said “better you apply some fairness cream it will lighten up your color to fair". I wish I could sue fairness cream companies, they spread more racism and discrimination, I thought and said “I cannot be pseudo-face (false face) like an amoeba who is pseudopodia (false feet)." These scientific words bounced my aunt's brain

My mom interrupted “How many times I have told you not to talk to Aunt in scientific language when you will stop being mischievous “?, than turned to aunt and said do not get into her nerve, Trust me she is a rebel. My aunt was salient for a while.

Soon the groom arrived accompanied with relative from all the sphere of his life. Before my departure for the voyage, many mandate advises were given, do not look straight in eyes, be very clam while speaking and last but not the least bend your head

Soon I was in front of them obeying all the sanction sentenced. Lowering my eyes along with my head. Could not guess which would fall first my eyes, brain, or altogether head I was only counting number of ants crawling on the floor. I could listen to my siblings laugh at backyard window.

The first remark of the ongoing opera was “Well girl is not that dark, as seen in photograph she sent last month". There again I clinched my fists. Than the oldest man turned around and asked "girl did you deliberately sent your darkest photo ", how did you manage to do so? That was clicked during summer and in that season our melanocytes do get active, secreting melanin pigment and skin looks dark. This help to absorb UV radiation, that’s why dark people have less chances of skin cancer I said, simultaneously decomposing with outrage as dark as thunder but had to be a silent spectator on wards , as could sense mum big eyes staring me.

After my job profile and salary were reveled, my sister in law took me, by my arm and I slowly walked back to pavilion. The moment inside, I fell on my sister's lap and gave a relaxed breathing. She was happy revolving her finger over my curly hair. Soon this was interpreted by my brother in law rough voice; they wish to see the girl in saree now. Really why so? I raised a question. He sighed and replied you were wearing three- forth sleeve dress, they could not view ,if you have the same skin color on arms, similar to face too .This added insult to my injuries and I gave mourning look to my mom. She said nothing

And there comes my aunt speaking " see beta, you are a girl and adjustment is in your fate". Ohh I did not knew I'm a girl and regarding adjustment ,it is required where u save something, what I’m saving here? I said quite disturbed You are question bank!! hurry up, wear one saree of your babhi. Aunty was quite impatient, as there were regular signal from the panel sitting outside. Bhabi was quick enough to select one, and there comes the antique caption, pick the color in which she does not look dark. My face was burning like
charcoal ready to burn the entire universe. As this attire was quite unfamiliar for me, it took ages to walk down from bedroom to hall, longest walk of my life. All the accomplishments, studies, talent and achievement got trapped in 5and half yardcloth that was covering me.I felt like an alien, a big zero. The only remnant left was black hole of universe revolving around nearly engulfing my pride, my self-respect, self-esteem and all the Self word of dictionary

At last verdict was out. I was selected in CME-Civil Marriage Exam. All were delighted,except me. When my views were asked I said NO a big black dark an ugly NO

Soon there was a round table conference with all relative busy escalating to my mum. I was being asked reasons for it. I said if someone is so confuse/interested/questionable on skin color they should defiantly get married to the skin color they are sure of. White, brown, whitish, blue, green, or whatever they wish. I cannot dye myself, I was furious The focal point of the entire discussion was black vs fair. How many times my color has to questioned? Why the boy has to get adjusted with my skin color for the sake of his family? He should not regret in future for bringing a black queen I said adjusting my hair 

At night mom came to me and asked why you are rigid on your decision? Didn't you like the boy? I took her hand and said Mom it's not about the boy, everyone has their choices, I respect and appreciate it. But I respect myself more. How can I survive in society where color of skin is at stake? It’s us who have to lead our life and if at very initial phase life starts with adjusting things we do not like in each other,will lead us to a burden-full tomorrow. Should I be penalized for the things I cannot change? You never saw a difference or commented any time, who are they? I was feeling like an abandoned soul, my eyes went teary. She hugged me and I was relaxed and as calm as sea

However suggestion were still pouring in - like don’t allow her to work anymore. Why you made your daughter educated, some even said is she waiting a groom to land from America for her? I heard and giggled with my nephew Kanah, who in turn said," I know why you are not agreeing to marry this guy" I gave a surprise look, he continued because  you don't want to wear saree after marriage right ?. But it's OK it's, your choice after all it’s your life. He was 6 at that time. I wish, entire world to turn 6

Certain social stigma are so deep rooted that it's difficult to overcome them. They are like scar.The best remedies to overcome any social stigma is turning yourself parasite, stay with them eat  and destroy them every time they emerge. Defend yourself, make your personality worthy, learn to pamper, love and forgive yourself. Be what you are, not too stubborn neither too flexible, but there is a word exist -adjustment. But for adjustment do not mistreat your-self, hamper or blemish.
Adjustment are always done when you have to preserve something be it Job, money, relationship, life but never at the cost of your pride, esteem and more importantly yourself.



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